If you are easily offended skip this post.

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns



Dear Twilight Fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Jacob



Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic



Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada



Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely,
Google



Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTH happened?!
Sincerely,
1985



Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle



Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack



Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP



Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder



Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World



Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people



Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco….
Sincerely,
United States



Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere



Dear Anne Frank,
Two can play this game….
Sincerely,
Waldo



Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman



Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies



Dear Americans,
I’m sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn’t hear you over my health care benefits.
Sincerely,
Canadians



Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore



Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol



Dear Mr. Gump
What are you talking about? There’s a little diagram on the lid that tells  you EXACTLY what you’re gonna get….
Sincerely,
Jenny



Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream…. What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio



Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans



Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka



Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans



Dear Twihards,
If he sparkles, he’s probably one of ours .
Sincerely,
Gay Men Of America



Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User



Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified



Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely
The Girls of Jersey Shore



Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper




Til next time...God bless!