Dear DJ...please stop coming into our room in the middle of the nite and hogging the bed! Oh, and stop calling your Aunt Gayleen on the "Avon phone"...its cute, but annoying! Unless of course you actually want to talk to her, then its okay!
Dear SamSam...please stop screaming at the top of your lungs when something doesn't go your way. I was at the neighbour's house the other day and heard you...without my hearing aids in....NOT kool!! I really should lease you out for some horror movie...that scream is SO piercing! Start using your words!
Dear Howie...thank you for letting me sleep in today! I really appreciate it and needed it! And for waking me up as gently as you did instead of just saying "Hey, its time to get up"
Dear costco....you suck on holiday weekends!!!! Seriously!! It could have been worse, but it was bad enough!! Oh, and to the lady who had this rather condemning look on her face when I came back in the store looking for my forgotten purse....I have two children who were rather unruly and on my last nerve today...don't look at me like that! I'm sure I'm not the first mom who's walked away leaving her purse behind!
Dear Whoever Found My Purse...thank you!! For leaving everything in tact! I truly appreciate it! This is for all those times I've returned a wallet and been a true human being!
Dear Makers of Motrin....you suck!! Your recall is absurd!! Its been months now, you should have the shelves stocked no? That's okay, we'll make do just fine with your Advil replacement! Yes, I'm slow to the recall exchange...we just haven't had to need meds for a while now!
Dear Kitty....the Play Land rep for Fred Meyer....your timing is spot on! You touched a nerve of mine today that drove me up the freakin wall with your punctuality!! I look forward to shopping at your store (and drop a fair amount of money every two weeks) KID FREE!!!! Today, when you called me back to take my son to the bathroom, you made damn sure to let me know I only had 10 minutes left of my hour....even after I explained spending a half hour with customer service dealing with the Motrin thing. Lighten up!
Dear costco...yes, again....thank you for making your roasted chicken to perfection!!!!! I thoroughly enjoy eating this bird in all its roasted goodness!! As do my children! They literally gobble it down!!! AND ask for more!!!
Dear Cara Foods....your rendition of Swiss Chalet's sauce is mediocre at times, but tonite was pure perfection!!!!! And transported me right back to Canada with each bite!! You complimented the lovely chicken that costco cooked so beautifully! You are now second to the meal my sister Johna smuggled across the border for me 4 years ago!
Dear Oxygen channel....you really need a lesson in timing! When editing a movie and putting commercials in it, DON'T interrupt a rather emotional scene with your nonsense commercials! Really quite annoying! The movie, Definitely, Maybe was fantastic!! I'd never seen it before, but recorded it last week as it stars Ryan Reynolds and Isla Fisher...and it was so touching!!
Dear Pillows....I'm coming...right now!
Til next time...pray for safety for all troops!